Trauma Bonding 👀👀👀

Trauma bonding is a psychological response where a person forms a deep emotional attachment to someone who is causing them harm, typically in the context of abuse. It’s most commonly discussed in abusive relationships—romantic, familial, or otherwise—where the cycles of abuse and intermittent kindness create powerful, confusing emotional ties.

Key Features of Trauma Bonding:

1. Cycle of Abuse and Reconciliation: The abuser alternates between cruelty and affection. This inconsistency strengthens emotional dependence.

2. Power Imbalance: One person holds control—emotionally, physically, or financially.

3. Isolation: The victim may become isolated from friends or support systems, increasing dependency on the abuser.

4. Denial or Minimization: Victims often downplay the abuse, blaming themselves or rationalizing the abuser’s behavior.

5. Craving for Approval: The victim becomes emotionally invested in gaining approval or love from the abuser, reinforcing the bond.

Why It Happens:

Trauma bonding is rooted in survival instincts and neurochemical reactions. The body releases dopamine (pleasure) and cortisol (stress) in rapid cycles, creating emotional highs and lows that can become addictive. It’s similar to what happens in addiction: the person becomes hooked on the occasional “high” that follows pain.

Common Examples:

• Domestic violence relationships

• Cult membership

• Hostage situations (sometimes called Stockholm Syndrome)

• Childhood abuse where the caregiver is also the source of safety

Healing Trauma Bonds:

• Education about the trauma bond helps break denial.

• Therapy, particularly with trauma-informed approaches like EMDR or somatic therapy.

• Support networks (friends, support groups, hotlines).

• Boundaries and, often, no-contact rules with the abuser.

If you’re asking about this because you or someone you care about may be experiencing it, I can help you explore resources, signs to watch for, or ways to seek support.