Coercive Behavior
- KJ Franklin
- Jan 14
- 2 min read
Coercive behavior (often called coercive control) is a pattern of behavior used to dominate, manipulate, intimidate, or restrict another person’s autonomy. It’s not about one incident—it’s about ongoing control that slowly erodes someone’s sense of freedom, safety, and self-worth.
What Makes It Coercive
It is intentional and repetitive
It creates fear, dependence, or compliance
It limits a person’s choices, voice, or independence
It often escalates quietly, not dramatically
Common Forms of Coercive Behavior
Emotional & Psychological
Gaslighting (“You’re imagining things”)
Constant criticism or humiliation
Silent treatment as punishment
Threats of abandonment, harm, or exposure
Control & Isolation
Monitoring phone, email, or social media
Restricting access to friends, family, or work
Demanding constant check-ins
Making decisions for the other person
Financial
Controlling money or access to accounts
Sabotaging employment
Requiring permission to spend
Creating debt in the other person’s name
Intimidation
Angry outbursts to instill fear
Breaking objects, slamming doors
Using size, tone, or presence to dominate
Implicit threats (“You don’t want to see me mad”)
Sexual or Bodily Control
Pressuring or coercing sex
Ignoring consent
Policing clothing, appearance, or weight
Reproductive control (pregnancy decisions)
Key Difference: Influence vs. Coercion
Influence respects choice
Coercion removes choice
If someone feels they must comply to avoid punishment, conflict, or loss, that’s coercion.
Why It’s Dangerous
Victims often don’t realize it’s happening
It can exist without physical violence
It leads to anxiety, depression, PTSD, and loss of identity
It is now legally recognized as abuse in many jurisdictions
If You’re Wondering “Is This Happening to Me?”
Ask yourself:
Do I feel afraid to disagree?
Do I second-guess my reality or memory?
Have I changed who I am to keep peace?
Do I feel trapped but can’t explain why?
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